Tulip has been sitting eating loudly during this conversation, occasionally rolling her eyes.

“Your dear brother died but of course you’re perfectly happy!” she suddenly growled viciously at her meat, “You only bury your anger because you know you’re helpless. You still want revenge, somewhere in there, or you wouldn’t be here.”

Beln looked at her, alarmed at her mood but determined to stand up for himself. “I’m not angry,” he said with forced calm, “I wish it hadn’t happened but there’s no…you can’t be angry at war.”

“And would you feel like that if there was someone to blame?” Suddenly she was glaring at him her voice raised. “What if you could look someone in the eye and know that they were responsible for his death. What if I stood in front of you and told you – I killed your brother.”

Beln didn’t flinch but he was clenching his fists. “It’s no-one’s fault.”

Tulip leant in. “I joined up when I was 16. I lied about my age. I was thin, weak and we had no time to train properly. We lasted about four months in the hills until one night they ambushed us while we were sleeping. It was my watch but I was turned towards the fire, so I couldn’t see them coming in the dark.” Neither of them blinked. Beln was stony faced, Tulip seemed almost eager. “Then, when I realised they were there, my gun was out of reach and I couldn’t get a proper hold of it, and I tried to yell out but I couldn’t defend myself properly and they knocked me down easily.” She sounded scornful now, as if she were describing someone else. “It was so easy that only one person was killed that night. But not one of them survived the camp they took us to. Over 6 months, every one of those15 men and women was murdered.”

Beln shifted slightly and looked away. “So? What would you say, boy?” Tulip challenged. Beln glanced at Tom sitting opposite him but he was watching Tulip and offered no support. “What would you say if I sat here and told you that your brother was one of those 15…”

“He wasn’t!” Beln exploded.

Tulip’s gaze never wavered. Slowly, carefully, she continued “I killed your brother…”

“You’re lying!” Beln shouted.

“You don’t know that!” Tulip shouted back.

Beln sat back in his seat breathing heavily glaring at her expectant half-triumphant expression until he had to look away. Then suddenly he stopped and looked slowly back up at her. “What was his name?” he said quietly. Tulip frowned slightly, questioningly, but Beln didn’t repeat it, just sat looking at her. Expectation crackled. Tulip opened her mouth…then closed it again and looked away. Beln let out a breath. Then he stood up slowly and walked out of the door.

Tulip finally met Tom’s gaze with a half smile then sat back and returned to her food without a word.

Dust

I'm allergic to my home.
This sucks.

Summer Sun

Over the last few days the weather has changed and it suddenly feels like summer. It's at once beautiful and cruel. Looking out over the paddock in the sun, standing at a window or sitting on the grass talking to friends, it's like a promise of summer that you know will be broken. Not because it'll rain tomorrow, or be cold later, but because summer doesn't really begin until after exams. And this weather just fills my mind with thoughts of the lazy days of may week - the only time when you can feel truly free. Which is why it's cruel - because this isn't the end it's just the beginning.
Work. Revision. Exams.
What a lot to look forward to!

My motto remains the same - and I would recommend this to anyone at any point in the Cambridge year: Live For Mayweek.

I feel the need to once again include one of my favourite quotes, from the incredible Tom Baker, while punting down the Cam:

"I love the spring. All the trees, the colours..."
"It's October"
"I thought you said we were coming here for Mayweek?"
"I did. Mayweek's in June"

And finally I'd just like to say: Ha! Oxford suckers!

Marmalade skies

The world actually did go orange today. I think it may be a sign.
Some people claim it was actually pink, but the gravel and yellow stone of Downing were glowing orange at me. When I looked up from my computer I was somewhat worried that I had been staring at the screen too long! It was beautiful though - I stuck my head out of the window and just absorbed it all. This college just keeps on growing on me. :)

Chapter 4

The girl in the tavern sat and moped over the prince, and the prince in his castle sat and moped over his princess, and the people avoided each other's eyes in the streets and snapped at their loved ones, and it seemed as though the kindom had been cursed.

Then, suddenly the girl got up. She looked out of the window and the street was empty. In the distance she could see the red castle on the hill but nothing moved there; the only life in the town was two black and white birds flying low overhead, calling to each other. The man who owned the tavern came into the room, straining to carry a heavy barrel and muttering to himself. The girl turned and smiled a radiant smile and the man was so suprised that he stopped and stared as the girl came over, took the barrel and put it away behind the bar. Then the girl fetched her coat and told the man that she was going out for a while, and the tavern keeper noticed that he had been smiling without realising it. The girl stepped out of the tavern and walked down the road. First she went to visit her friends and some of them joined her, and they walked through the kingdom together laughing gaily. And they would smile at the people they passed by, and people would come out to speak with them, and then they would see other people that they knew and instead of returning to work, stopped to speak with them as well. Gradually the streets filled with people again, and they remembered what good friends they had, and how much they enjoyed each other's company.

The sounds of laughter spread up the hill to the castle and the prince looked out the window, astonished. His servants were giggling in the corridors and they smiled fondly at him as he emerged, bemused, from his room. He went outside and people gave him a friendly nod as they passed, before continuing other conversations, and though they smiled at him, they smiled more at each other and the prince walked unhindered through the town. As he looked around at the smiling faces, he realised that he was smiling too, and seeing his subjects so happy made him forget all about his own sorrows. He turned a corner and there was the girl who polished the tables at the tavern; she glanced at him with sparkling eyes that matched his own, then came up to him and kissed him once on the cheek before walking away with her friends around her, leaving the prince standing and staring all around in amazement.

The kingdom was always happy after that; even when times were hard the people remembered that they could rely on each other and that their friendships were strong and valuable. The prince went out less, he talked with his own friends, and they created something together that they could share through joy and sorrow. And when the prince did go out, he looked around and everything he saw made him happy and he was glad and grateful for the gift that other people gave him.

Follow the chain.

Jeez, come on adam! I was trying to go to bed an hour ago!
LINKS!

Chapter 3

Most days the prince would wander the kingdom and sometimes he passed by the tavern, and sometimes he went in, but mostly he would not. And when he did come the girl who polished the tables was ecstatic and when he didn't she was glum until he came again. And sometimes he would walk by and she wanted to run out to speak to him, but she didn't, she waited, and when he didn't come in she was crushed. The prince had so many people to talk to that he didn't always see the people waiting or didn't get a chance to talk to everyone around him and the people were sad because they loved him so but he didn't have time for them. And though when he did speak to them they felt special once again, when he didn't they felt rejected, and thought that he had never really cared about them at all, and they grew sad. And after a while they began to grow angry that they had been taken in so, and that a glance from him should still have the power to make their day or destroy their mood, and they began to avoid him so that they would not fall under his spell again. The girl who polished the tables still gazed at him from inside the tavern as he passed and though she told herself that she didn't want to see him, each time he didn't notice her, her spirits fell.

At first the prince did not notice. There were still new people in the kindom to meet, and while he gained some satisfaction from this, when he was alone he preffered to think about his princess, although she was long gone. But gradually the prince became aware of a change - the people were no longer cheerful in the streets, and each day less would come to speak to him. He didn't understand what had gone wrong - for still when he spoke people would smile, but now it didn't seem to really make them happy. A gloom of misery and simmering resentment crept over the kingdom. The prince began to go out less, for when he passed it just seemed to become worse, so instead he sat and dreamt about the princess.